The Art of Procrastination

by Kalie Marino

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Most procrastinators intend to stop doing it someday, but they're just not sure how to begin, which is their habit, being procrastinators. However, some procrastinators go on to master the art of procrastination.

Whether you choose to master the art of procrastination or change it, you must first understand the rules. While it's easy to establish a habit unconsciously, it is difficult to master a lifestyle or change a habit without consciously seeing exactly what you do and how you do it. The problem is, you can only get this kind of information from a master procrastinator. I would have written the article sooner, but I kept putting it off.

Since procrastination is a habitual lifestyle, there are precise rules for doing it successfully. Procrastinators must know the rules, because they use them every day. However, unless they have mastered the art, they may not be consciously aware of them. They keep the rules a secret, even from themselves, thinking rules work best when no one knows what they are. Procrastinators like to feel free of rules, so they try to use them as unconsciously as possible.

To procrastinate, you must unconsciously abide by the following rules:

Rule 1: Have no clearly defined goals, which require personal commitment or self-discipline.

Procrastination is a lifestyle that requires you to be vague at all times. The art of procrastination is to make your lifestyle sound sophisticated and purposeful. Tell people that you are being spontaneous and living in the present. Of course, procrastination isn't really being spontaneous, because it's an habitual pattern that you do all the time. And, you aren't really living in the present. You're just avoiding the future by hanging onto the past, trying to stop change.

You can always justify your lifestyle by telling yourself that you are happy with the way things are. Of course, you aren't really happy, because you have to put so much effort into avoiding doing what you would really love to do, if you weren't so afraid of failure.

Procrastination is a low risk lifestyle, designed for those who wish to avoid failure. They believe it provides maximum safety and minimum change. If you have no clearly defined goals and take no action which requires commitment or self-discipline, you can't possibly fail.

If you are a long term procrastinator, you not only put off doing things you hate to do, you also put off doing things you love. The problem is you don't know the difference between what you love and what you hate.

There are many things you would love to do if you already knew how to do them well. But you aren't willing to do them poorly or risk looking stupid while you learn how to do them. So you fool yourself into thinking you hate something you would really love, if you could just do it for fun without having to be good at it.

While it's important to avoid setting clearly defined goals, it's even more important not to look like a failure. You want to stay the way you are, while being admired for what you are. People admire people who dream big, so you can dream of having anything you want. In fact, the art of procrastination is to have a dream or goal so big that people admire you just for having it, without actually expecting you to do it in the near future. These are dreams about your potential and what you are going to do someday, without people making a connection between these goals and what you are actually doing today.

Rule 2: Make no commitments

No commitment on exactly what you will do or when. No commitment on what time you will start. No commitment on how many hours you will do it. No commitment on when you will be finished.

It's goals that require you to take action today that must be avoided ¬- goals that contain time commitments! Time commitments move your dreams and goals into the present where they can no longer be put off. Once you have made a time commitment for today, you will be forced to either take action or fail by not beginning.

So as you can see, commitment really moves you into the high risk zone, especially if you tell anyone. If you have to make a plan or set a definite goal, keep it a secret at all costs. Then only you will know if you don't keep the commitment, reducing the risk somewhat. Keep up appearances by telling people: "It will lose energy if I talk about it." Or, "It won't come true if I tell anyone." So, if things aren't going well, tell them your plans. Then you'll have something to blame for your failure.

Rule 3: Have no self-discipline. Be dependent on your moods and impulses, other people, and your environment to determine when you work and for how long.

Work at things that are important to you only when you're in the mood, when everything around you is just right, and when everyone is cooperative. This will minimize the need for action, while maximizing the opportunity to blame other people and circumstances for the outcome of whatever you are doing. Procrastinators always keep excuses for failure handy just in case they are needed. The object is not to accept personal responsibility for anything that happens.

This looks easy enough to do. After all, nothing is required of you. You are not responsible for anything. But appearances are deceiving, because not being responsible actually causes the most difficult part of procrastination. Procrastination puts you in the position of being dependent on and controlled by other people, by your emotions and by the environment. This can be a very demeaning position. It can make you feel victimized and overwhelmed by others.

You also feel like a failure for not being in charge of your own life, because it "seems like" you never get to do what you want to do. This isn't true, of course, because how can you fail to be in charge of your life, when dependency is part of your own plan of procrastination to avoid failure? Dependency is actually a sign of success at the only goal you have - procrastination.

To avoid feeling like a failure, you must keep your goal of dependency clearly in mind, remembering that you want it this way. However, having the goal of dependency is breaking the first rule of procrastination, which is to have no clear goals. Unfortunately, it is difficult for you, whether you remember your goal or not. If you don't remember you chose dependency, you'll feel like a failure, and if you do remember you chose it, you'll also remember that, by making this choice, you are failing to do what you would really enjoy doing, if you had the courage to risk failure.

The art of procrastination is to avoid admitting failure of any kind by using your dependent state as a way to be admired for your sensitivity to others. You can say that you never get to do what you want to do, because you're always doing things for other people. That sounds admirable, even if it isn't true. However, never be afraid to distort the truth to perfect the art of procrastination. The truth is, you use helping other people as an excuse for your failure.

A favorite method of procrastination is to be so busy taking care of things that you "have to do" that you don't have time to do what you enjoy. You may even tell everyone that you'll do what you love to do as soon as you finish your list of projects. This is a low risk statement. Having all mundane tasks completed is the dream of every successful procrastinator, because it allows them to procrastinate indefinitely. This method gives you the illusion of being very productive and responsible, while enabling you to avoid responsibility for your own happiness.

To become a procrastinator, you had to learn the habit of resisting the impulse to enjoy yourself. It must have been learned, because doing what you love comes naturally to everyone. The main problem is the built in reaction to resist enjoyment dulls enthusiasm for everything. The unconscious mind, which is in charge of habitual patterns, cannot discriminate between stopping you from doing what you love and stopping you from loving what you do. So it just stops you from enjoyment of any kind.

People who do what they love also know how to enjoy most everything they do. They have enthusiasm for life, the natural habit of enjoyment. You can either program yourself to enjoy life or resist it, but not both. You can master the art of procrastination or change it. The choice is really up to you, if you get around to it.