Criticism: What We Give Energy To Grows

by Kalie Marino

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Shortly before I got involved in the spiritual movement, I had a sudden revelation of how critical my thinking had become. My criticisms of my husband were for the same things I disliked in myself. Every judgment I made against him was really a judgment on myself. I clearly saw that my criticism was a projection of self-judgments, and I didn't like being such a critical person.

I firmly resolved not to be critical any more. But the harder I tried not to be critical, the more critical I became. Not only was I critical, but now I was critical of myself for being critical. It became a nightmare as the intensity of my criticism increased instead of decreasing.

Without realizing it I was giving power to criticism by focusing on it, even though I didn't want it. There is an old saying, "What you resist persists." I was finding out it was true. I didn't know what else to do.

Then I got involved in the spiritual movement and my teacher asked me, "If you don't want to be critical, what do you want to be?" I knew what I didn't want, but I had never thought about what I wanted to be instead. That was a whole new idea.

I told him, "I want to be an accepting person." My teacher said, "Then as of this day, you are an accepting person." By accepting this new identity, I began living my life as an accepting person. It was easy. When I was critical, I would just say to myself, "I'm surprised at you, Kalie. It's not like you to be so critical. You're such an accepting person."

The Course says that all God asks for is our little willingness, but we don't know what our willingness is for. At every moment we are willing for something, but we are not always aware of what we are willing or what we really want.

There is a law of physics that states, "Whatever you give energy to grows." We are always giving energy to something by focusing our attention on it. Whatever we focus attention on is what we are manifesting in our lives, even though we may not recognize how we are doing it.

Alchemy may help explain how this works. Long ago, it was rumored that mighty sorcerers could turn lead into gold through an ancient science called alchemy. This was a very controversial and well-guarded secret. However, I am going to reveal this ancient secret to you.

First get a large iron kettle. Into the kettle, pour 2 quarts of tomato juice and a can of assorted nuts and bolts. Then drop in one small piece of iron, the eye of a nat and the wing of a bat. Those are a little harder to find than the first ingredients. Even so, this part is very simple. Almost anyone can do it. The next part, however, is so difficult that only a few people have ever been able to do it.

To turn the lead into gold, you must take a large wooden spoon and stir the contents of this kettle 100 times without thinking of the word, "hippopotamus." To practice this, don't think "hippopotamus" for the next 30 seconds and see what happens. . . . . Was it easy? No. It seemed impossible, didn't it. The harder you try not to think hippopotamus, the more hippopotamus comes into your mind.

Now think "giraffe" for the next 30 seconds. . . . . . .Is that easy? Of course it is. It is quite easy. You can actively think whatever you want to think. Even though your mind may sometimes wander, you are always free to bring it back to what you want to think.

The object of the sentence, "Don't think hippopotamus," is hippopotamus. The object of the sentence, "Think hippopotamus," is hippopotamus. Since the object of a sentence in our thoughts is also the object of our attention or energy, it doesn't matter whether we think hippopotamus or try not to think hippopotamus. Hippopotamus is still the focus of our energy. The law of physics states that whatever we give energy to grows, and so does our awareness of hippopotamus, whether we want to think it or not.

This is what can happen when we try to stop an old habit of behavior. We focus energy and attention on what we don't want to experience and, therefore, will onto ourselves the very thing we fear the most. We see what we are actually willing for as what we don't want. Whatever we resist, deny or suppress persists, because we are giving it energy through the our resistance.

However, we are always free to choose to put energy into what we want instead, like we did when we thought giraffe instead of hippopotamus. Thinking giraffe was easy, even though the thought of hippopotamus may have wandered into our minds occasionally because we had given it energy before. But it was okay for that to happen, so we didn't have to resist the thought of hippopotamus or place any importance on it one way or another. If we didn't give it energy, the thought of hippopotamus would have faded away eventually.

The first step in getting rid of anything is to decide what we want to create its place. Then focus on what we want, instead of what we don't want.

The second step is to set our goal in terms of what we want to be. Habits can take time and practice to change, but a person can change their identity in an instant of acceptance.

What kind of a person do you want to be? What kind of a person would do what you want to do, have what you want to have, or think the way you want to think? Accept that this quality is already within you, because you value it. No one can value a quality that is not already within them.

I only had to affirm the truth about myself. I was already an accepting person or my critical thinking wouldn't have bothered me in the first place. When my thinking was critical, I saw myself as a critical person, which was in conflict with my loving and accepting nature. My thinking was taking me out of integrity with the nature of my being. It wasn't natural for me to be critical. This was something I had learned to do and was willing to unlearn.